Discover Your Unique Voice: Beyond your Homeschool Mama Identity

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So, you signed up to homeschool and you’re grateful to have followed this path, yet you know you have interests beyond your homeschool mama identity.

You’ve appreciated all the freedoms this homeschool lifestyle has brought your family. Still, you’ve been doing it for a few years and you’re realizing, to your utter surprise, that you are working yourself out of a job, and you even want to do things that aren’t related to homeschooling.

Who are you beyond your homeschool mama identity and what will be the next contribution of your life outside your homeschool mama role?

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“Perhaps the most important lesson one can teach: you are someone and you have a right to your life”.

Richard Hugo

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Natalie Goldberg said, “I went home with the resolve to write what I knew and to trust my thoughts and feelings and to not look outside myself. I was not in school anymore: I could say what I wanted.”

Natalie Goldberg recognized she was unconstrained and didn’t need to look outside herself to know herself and be herself.

She was a person outside of other people.

That would be me at thirty.

Thirty years old, released from my notions of people-pleasing and attempting to smooth out things that were out of my control.

And it was during this time that I recognized I had a voice.

A voice that also liked to write.

I attended a writing conference for the first time in my life.

Walking away from that writing conference, I was determined to write.

I had finally found myself.

This is me! I’m a writer. I have stuff to say.

No one gave me a writing pen, or saw my talent, or gave me permission. I just wanted to write.

Anyone who has letters after their name, money in their bank account, or loads of followers is deemed to have made a valuable contribution.

We appreciate these people because they have likely made a contribution and presence in our world.

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But it wasn’t just a handful of people plucked out of the world to be contributors to our generation.

We are given that rite of passage because we were born.

We all were created for a reason.

Unique reasons for each one of us. 

With internal compelling for different activities, different thought lives, and different approaches.

When we’re each playing our part, we contribute toward a rich, abundant, interesting world.

With the demands of those around us and the demands we place on ourselves by listening to other’s opinions on our lives, we are not always living our lives or allowing our voices to speak. But we can.

This is your life. But we don’t always choose to engage our lives fully.

What should you be doing right now to fulfill your reason for being alive? To live your life on purpose.

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“There are two important days in your life. The first was when you were born. The second was when you found out why.”

Terry Tempest Williams

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The process of discovering my voice has changed me from the person I was before.

1. I stopped listening to myself because the voices around me were so loud; eventually, I came back to me, because I learned to listen to myself.
2. This means I learned to take time away to do things I like to do because I like doing them.
3. I recognized I needed to take care of myself just as I needed to take care of others.
4. I pursued interests I loved to do long before I was a mother, even long before I was an adult, like writing and speaking into a tape cassette player (now known as a podcast).
5. Kept a bucket list or dream list of what I’d like to do one day, just me and my husband.
6. I asked myself what creativities I want to nurture and asked if I couldn’t do them now.
7. I continued to listen to podcasts and learn from interesting things.

Just as Natalie Goldberg discovered her unique voice, we too can embrace our passions and aspirations. We all have a distinct purpose, and by living intentionally, we contribute to a richer, more diverse world.

Homeschooling can be a transformative journey, helping us realize our identity extends beyond the homeschool mama role.

So, let’s find our voices, live with purpose, and make a difference beyond our homeschool mom role.

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4-Step Process for Clarifying Values and Overcoming Challenges

Step 1: Identify Key Areas of Your Life

In the first column of your journal, list the key areas of your life. These might include:

• Well-being (physical, mental, emotional)
• Homeschool
• Mothering
• Work or Career (if applicable)
• Relationships (family, friendships, marriage)
• Personal Growth (intellectual, spiritual)
• Creativity or Hobbies
• Finances

Tip: Focus on the areas that are most relevant to you.

Step 2: Identify Your Guiding Values

In the second column, list the values that guide your decisions and actions in each area. These values reflect how you wish to operate in each aspect of your life.

Examples of values might include:

• Health: Self-compassion, balance, wellness
• Homeschooling: Patience, creativity, growth
• Relationships: Authenticity, empathy, respect
• Personal Growth: Curiosity, purpose, integrity

Tip: If you’re unsure of your values, start by searching for value lists online or consult the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective for ideas.

Step 3: Assess Current Challenges

In the third column, reflect on your current challenges in each of these areas. Ask yourself:

• Where am I currently in each of these areas?
• What specific challenges am I facing?
• How do I feel about my progress or struggles in these areas?

For example:

• Health: “I’m struggling with staying active due to fatigue. I feel frustrated and discouraged.”
• Homeschool: “I feel overwhelmed by planning and activities. I’m unsure if I’m meeting my kid’s needs, but I’m definitely not meeting mine.”

Tip: Be honest and specific about how you feel in each area and identify what’s holding you back.

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Step 4: Define Your Desired Reality and Plan for Change

In the fourth column, describe your ideal outcome for each area of life. What would your life look like if you were living according to your values?

Then, ask yourself what changes you need to make in order to reach that ideal. This might include:

• Health: “I want to feel strong and energized. I’ll start with gentle exercises and give myself time to heal.”
• Homeschool: “I need to book time away each week, even if it requires me to hire a homeschool high school student to look after the kids for a couple hours.”

Create a realistic action plan:

• What specific steps do you need to take?
• What mindset shifts are necessary?
• How will you overcome challenges?

Tip: Small, consistent changes over time often lead to bigger transformations. Be patient with yourself.

Reflection Questions to Deepen the Process

• How can I embody my values in small, daily actions?
• Where do I need to show more self-compassion?
• What is one change I can make this week to align my life with my values?

By following this process, homeschool moms can gain clarity about what truly matters to them, address challenges with intentionality, and begin embodying their values more fully in every area of life.

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